its going to be the 3rd week of holidays and im really rotted haha hvnt gotten any jobs yet.

went to sheena's to sleepover + korean feast (homecooked) + singing k. korean feast was niceeee but full ttm! and i could rly just explode any time pls. and for the first time in my life, i sang for 9hrs and from the sky turning to day from night, and giving me a bad sorethroat now haha!! (play partly was the colddddd aircon-ed room! hehehe) anyway we had lots of fun singing and cooking korean feast. wish carrie was there too to play with us but she's on a fulfulling trip at cambodia, learning, helping, playing and interacting with the cute kids. im happy for her too when i read how great and impactful the trip meant to her.

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last week hasnt been really great since i got back my results. because my mum's been nagging since then. she was really kind of pissed. dont feel like elaborating further cos it's all in my tweet

i admit i do have foul attitude. but that doesnt mean im not respecting you. i dont know why you like to compare us with your friends' kids and others. i know i have done well myself and i think thats enough. i dont really care what others score to either show themselves or their parents. i dont understand why i have put in effort (at least for what i think) you think im being too contented easily. and contradicting yourself with the values of being contented with what we have, what you are providing us with now.
you have been harping on it for 3days at least. and in these 3days,everytime i face you it's nothing but sighs of dissapointments and not reliefs. looks of anger and not encourgament. words of disatisfaction and not concern.
when i rebut, im not trying to save my face. im not trying to say that im really proud of my results. im not giving excuses. im not trying to show you that i dont care about what you feel about my results, my future and what i want to do/accomplish in life.
do you know im worried for myself too? do you know i really dont know what i want in life too? but i dare not tell you.
when they were praising about him, i kept quiet. no one bothered to ask me how i did. i guess it seems like im definitely the loser there. did they/you bother how affected i was when the discussion/praises were going on? i had "As and distinctions" too. but did they or you bother about how these As and distinctions served as an encourgement to me? did you know how happy i was when i saw the first distinction in my life?

i think you are very affected by other other people's kids do. and to you, im not putting in effort. i admit i dont really like studying and just like slacking around. and i dont revise every day for what ive learnt. but when the need arises, i do put in the effort too.
i wanted you to ask me if im feeling okay about tuesday's appointment. it may not seem a big issue to you. but do you know im worried. maybe you think im a big girl now and able to handle it myself. but do you know that im longing for you to ask me if you can/need to accompany me? even when i asked for your accompany, i was hoping for a positive reply.

im not giving you foul attitude because im not respecting you. i just cant bear with it. i just cant stand the things you said about me. i just cant give a little more patience. i just cant have more of EQ.

but that doesnt mean im not giving you my respect. that doesnt mean im not treating you the way for who you are. i still care for who you are.
all i need is your understanding.